Monday, 22 November 2010

My life with the no-thrill, raw cult

So it's been a while. A year? Two years? Time goes a bit funny when you don't sleep and then sleep a lot and then upgrade Myspace and then wonder where everyone went.
Did anything interresting happen? Oh, I dunno... my cousins got babies. Loads of them. So I'm now an aunt many times over. Not that I wasn't before what with that one cousin who's been going about the baby-making business with engineered proficiency and having them once every one or two years and they're maybe up to 5 now? But it doesn't really count as they live far away and they were always a bit.. unique. I'm bad at keeping in touch and as we're related, so are they. But hear there are loads of offspring. Now there are bebehs close by too and I happily say that it's weirding me out just a tiny bit. I grew up with these people and we ran around naked in grandma's yard and wondered why they got 6 or 7 folds in their tummy when they sat down and I only got 2 ('tis but stored energy for laters) and now they're.. ah, now we're all in our 30s and they have young ones and it's weird and fascinating and sort of wonderfull and I'm sure everyone will be happy to know that I never once contemplated eating their babies at the baptism ceremony.
I guess there's some truth to family bonds. Makes you not want to eat your family's young.
And for the record, these young ones look just like their parents and seem to act an awful lot like tham and I'm ever so curious to see how they'll turn out in the next 18 years. I'm quite chuffed about being an aunt even though officially I have no responvibility for these kids. But I like the thought of aunt-ism. Maybe I might have something to offer them in the future.

I don't have babies. I didn't get married or engaged or pregnant in the past 2 years. I did change my job a few times until I realised that in order to REALLY change and do things differently I might just have to start doing things differently. And I got poor and I worked overtime to not be so because I don't do poor and in debt well and then I realised I'm doing both ok even if I don't like it (and being either is certainly not a goal). So I don't work over time anymore. Not on things that don't matter. I'm still trying to figure out how to work overtime on things that do. Brain says "Get it done woman!", body says "snoooze. 5 more minutes. OH THERE'S SOMETHING SHINY OVER THERE WE MUST SPEND HOURS OBSESSING OVER IT BECAUSE IT'S SO SHINY AND OHMYGODIWANTSIT!"
Did anything happen at all? Well besides kinda sorta turning *cough*raw vegan*cough* and setting up the shop and trying to work on the sister shop... no, nothing much. Did I change? Hard to tell from this angle. Maybe I finally got it in my ginormous head that people need people and that you're only as alone as you want to be (all together now: D'UH!) but I still don't quite know how to work for my own happiness or how to seperate relaxing with your eyes closed and sleeping.

Please stop hitting your head on the desk.

It's always a work in progress. I think for being as stubborn as I am I'm doing ok. Room for major improvements? Always. There's always things to work towards. For one, it'd be lovely if there was an actual difference between me and that naked hermit living under the bush. Right now there isn't much. He's got a better tan though. It's a free lifestyle, but not quite what I'm aiming for. I'd be more curious about living with actual people for once. And trying out that marriage thing. It might be a hoot. Babies? Eh... maybe I'll adopt that dog first and we'll see if I manage not to lose that one. It's a big apartment, I might forget.
I guess it's true that if you swim in the ocean, it's a long way everywhere. So just keep swimming and you might just get there.


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