Stay in, stress out, celebrate holidays

I'd be lying if I said the holiday season wasn't driving me a tiny bit nuts. Of course this is all a personal issue what with my learned response of doing an effective rabbit-in-the-headlights thing when faced with more than one task with a deadline at the same time, but it's comforting to know that holidays are the best of times and the worst of times to most people so I can safely say that there are too many drawings still yet to finish, too many supplies yet unbought, too much root growth in my hair, too many crunchy things on the floor, too many pieces of furniture yet to assemble, too few hours in the night and way too many things online that are not even moderately necessary for anything but OMGLOOKATTHATCUTELITTLEPUPPYFALLINGASLEEPIT'SSOCUTESQUEE!!!11!!!!
And there go another 20 minutes.
Or 5 hours.

Good thing the state is keeping up the holiday spirit by providing us both with tangible merry-go-rounds and abstract ones. The abstract one being the brand new law about cutting basic social security by 20-40% from youngsters who either drop out or don't accept a student place if they should happen to get one. I know it doesn't sound bad but wait, there's more! This new law makes it mandatory for people under 26 to apply for both universities AND at least two vocational institutes twice a year. And then accept the place they get once they get it, regardless of what their situation is. I mean, it's not like under 26s might have families of their own, or debt, or control over their own lives, or emotional issues that have prevented them from studying/moving to another province or completing their studies before right? They're just punk ass lazy! And besides, everyone knows that mental health is a myth and can be cured by toughening up, right? Right guis? Guis?
I don't think I'll even go into the financial aspects more than that changing your degree program or place of study wont get you back the student benefit months you've used up already studying something that you didn't really choose. Dropping out early to save those months means losing all benefits.
So with that said, and understanding how worried the powers-that-be are of youth falling between the cracks of society, which part of this grand plan exactly is supposed to make things better? Or is it just supposed to kill off a bunch of people and provide cheap labour for years to come and keep the drugs flowing?
Just the sort of thing young families need to be worrying over a wink before the holidays.

Well, this went into cheery territory fast.
On the up side is that that gorgeous gay guy in Skating With The Stars has done some adult entertainment and is mighty nice to look at without clothes.
Also, we have a lot of snow. And when I say a lot, I mean 5 centimeters away from a decade's record. That would be what's officially called as "a whole bunch" of snow.
And I guess it's not that terrible that this week only has 4 workdays. So the next blog will be after Christmas. And the one after that will be next year. That's scary fast. I'm told that next year will go by even faster. Issa scientific fact. There's a nagging feeling at the back of my head that I should do something spectacular next year.... suggestions welcome in the comments.

Now, say "muikku".

Lights, cookies, action!

On the whole you could say it was a bit of a sucky week, but then again, expected windfalls of small amounts of moneys and feeling like you actually might have done some good counter a great deal of that suckyness. Also: having not one but two (2!) cups of very awesome blueberry frappucino with not one but two (2!!) pear and chocolate cookies is a powermove that pretty much kills all sucky things dead.
World suck: 0, cookies and coffee: 1

I applied to a few different unis (or "universities of applied sciences" which might translate to "college", but what do I know) in the Fall. And by Fall I mean our Fall that start in September and ends in October when things start freezing over. The reuslts came in just at the end of November and no, I didn't get in. Am I bummed? You betcha! Not just because this will push any sort of graduation off by at least 6 months, but also because it means some added expenses if I wish to study in those 6 months AND that I didn't actually get left out because I did poorly in the entrance exams. Out of 70 possible points, 20 are alotted based on previous work experience in the same field as the degree program. Sooooo, if I already had a job in said field, I would've gotten in to study it. Right. Am I the only one that thinks that's just a tiny bit messed up? Yup, it did piss me off that even though I might do well in the exam and the interview, I'm left in a 20 point disadvantage from the start BECAUSE COMPANIES DON'T HIRE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO DEGREES IN THEIR FIELD. I'm assuming this was a totally appropriate division of the points about 25 ears ago when you could still get jobs without actual academic degrees. Not that I'm bitter.

Wait, yes I am.

As a result of this (not of being bitter but the other stuff before that) I have two choices for the next 6 months: 1. I'll take more open uni courses, pay around 500€ for the entrance and the transportation, and maybe possibly thought not very likely, have something to give me extra points on the next round of entrance exams. Also, if I should happen to get in, graduation might not get pushed back a whole 6 months. OR 2. I don't sign up for more courses but instead get a proper lense for my camera and work on the non-academic stuff, so that by Summer next year I might have some extra money and wont have to live off tap water and licking noodle wrappers. Also there's the possible added bonus of maybe getting to do some small amount of traveling. There's also a hidden door number 3. that would allow me to do both option 1. and 2., but that's the stuff of myths and legends and something that you really shouldn't pin your hopes on unles you happen to own a unicorn that poops out golden vegan eggs.

So that's the sucky part. Oh and some airhostesses are on strike but I haven't followed that one at all and then there's some strange religious cult made out of ingeneering students and graduates that apparently makes loads of money for the head of the cult while he pressures wimminz into starving themselves to anorexia, but I haven't much followed that one either. And then some bridges collapsed because of lorries running into them and if you really want to get into World Suck, you should read Guy Delisle's travel comics to put western consumerism in proportion. Yeah, I think that's most of the sucky part. The awesome part was tax returns. And by tax returns I mean being able to get that travel comic of Burma by Guy Delisle and going to Helsinki to enjoy the Christmas lights and finally getting to visit Sis.Deli (a coffee shop of sorts that's based around organic and local food) for that very awesome blueberry frappuccino and cookies served by a very awesome lady and then just sitting at a table with my coffee and cookies, reading a brand spanking new comic book while the snow falls silently outside. It was all very very good. Can you tell I miss Helsinki? Hell, I just miss being part of the human race. A cup of guilt-free coffee and tasty cookies is sometimes all you need to feel warm inside.

Is it narcisistic to be happy about getting a Christmas card from someone with your own design on it?

Social security madness

First off some boring and irritation-fuelled explanation on how social benefits work in Finland: in spirit, much the same way as everywhere else. That is, they're written and monitored in a way that will make you feel like a common criminal applying for them (and only the knowledge that you paid for those benefits from your wages will ever give you strenght enough to do so), that you feel slightly worse when you receive them because of the constant stream of letters reminding you of this or that being something that you should've remembered to notify the officials of (like say, your cat having four legs, which is simply one leg too many and obviously your cat, being one of the people that contributes to your family in a concrete way, is just showing off) and the random dates and locations you need to remember when dealing with your "local" offices. In short, they're made applying for a "benefit" that will enable you to eat and not lose your home so unpleasant to get that you don't really want to. If this is a clever form of psychological warfare or just them  being dicks, I do not know. I do know that it makes people who've fallen on hard times, like a lot of us do at some point in our lives, feel worse about themselves. Which would totally serve a purpose, if it didn't make people suicidal. Which again, can be seen as serving a purpose. Less money spent on social benefits. Result!

Now, I've had to deal with this ridiculous system of dates and Find The Offices and You Are A Very Bad Person letters a few times. I work manual labour. Work is scarse. It's a dying field regardless of what the unions like to think. Those are just facts and I'm not even going to debate them or try to change them. So being unemployed and looking for a job has happened more than once and being on benefits has happened a few times. Both of these things combined were a big enough wake up call to start looking for a way to make a living that required more effort, but hey, I don't consider that a bad thing. You get out what you put in, so high time I put in more. (see the very first post in this blog)
What I do consider a very very bad thing is making people in a bad place feel like they deserve it for not being humble and poor enough. In the history of the world, how often do you get good, permanent results by guilting people? If you answered "around zero" then you'd be right. If you answered "it's the only way to get people to act" then you probably work with the benefits office devicing these letters.
Now the simple fact that you pay taxes on the social security that you recieve is a bit odd. Odd, but not bad. You can say it's income. You get money and it pays the bills; the very definition of income. Only it's not income to the tax officials. Money you make from working is, money you  recieve as benefits is not (this goes back to filling in other paperwork later on and figuring out what sort of income you're enjoying and how much you've paid taxes on it). They just like to tax it. And tax they do. While regularly, you would pay taxes according to how much you earn, when it comes to benefits, you don't. Because its not income. So let's say you worked only part time and had very small income, you'd pay 10% or less in taxes from that. It's a lot from a small sum, but hey, you're paying to uphold the benefits system which is good. You might need it one day. So I definitely don't have an issue with that. When you go on benefits though, you'll pay 20% taxes. From a little over 500€ a month. Now leaving aside the fact that you're paying taxes at all from benefits (couldn't they just pay you less? No? Alrighty then.).. 20%? Really? Because otherwise I'd just use that -50cents on booze and gambling, right?

And that's not even counting in the insanity that is housing benefits. In case someone didn't know, Helsinki is probably one of the most expensive places to rent or to buy property. Why? lord knows. Because we have that fancy church that's shaped like a missile silo? Because we're totez hip and cool and in the heart of Europe with easy access everywhere? No we're not. Because our apartments are so awesome? Well, yes, if you consider things shaped like an L  and bathrooms with sit-in bathtubs and rubber walls awesome, then yes, yes they are. The fact is that buying a single bedroom apartment anywhere around the Helsinki center is going to run you about 150,000 - 180,000 euros. In the center itself, you can ad another ten or twenty thousand. For a single, that would be a lot. But renting is what will make you really poor. Rents are currently running over 600€ for a studio and that's when you happen to get a deal. How does this have anything to do with the benefits? Well, as far as the benefits office goes, you're only allowed to inhabit a certain amount of square meters and pay a certain amount of rent for those and that would be totally reasonable, unles the statistics the benefits are based on weren't from the 1970s. The maximum amount of space a single person is allowed to take up? 37square meters. The maximum amount they're allowed to pay for it? 450€ of which the benefits will graciously cover 330€. So regardless of your current finacial situation, your social situation or your mental situation, you will be getting 330€ to pay your rent, a letter stating that you're paying too much rent (tell me about it!) and a list of state supported companies renting apartments... that currently charge 715€/month for a 31 square meter one bedroom set up. See, they 're being helpfull by suggesting alternatives for you.
Am I grateful for having at least some sort of financial backing from the state? Absolutely. But the madness.. it must stop.

In other news: The time for thermal underwear has come. I don't think I shall mind looking like a ninja for a few months. :D

My life with the no-thrill, raw cult

So it's been a while. A year? Two years? Time goes a bit funny when you don't sleep and then sleep a lot and then upgrade Myspace and then wonder where everyone went.
Did anything interresting happen? Oh, I dunno... my cousins got babies. Loads of them. So I'm now an aunt many times over. Not that I wasn't before what with that one cousin who's been going about the baby-making business with engineered proficiency and having them once every one or two years and they're maybe up to 5 now? But it doesn't really count as they live far away and they were always a bit.. unique. I'm bad at keeping in touch and as we're related, so are they. But hear there are loads of offspring. Now there are bebehs close by too and I happily say that it's weirding me out just a tiny bit. I grew up with these people and we ran around naked in grandma's yard and wondered why they got 6 or 7 folds in their tummy when they sat down and I only got 2 ('tis but stored energy for laters) and now they're.. ah, now we're all in our 30s and they have young ones and it's weird and fascinating and sort of wonderfull and I'm sure everyone will be happy to know that I never once contemplated eating their babies at the baptism ceremony.
I guess there's some truth to family bonds. Makes you not want to eat your family's young.
And for the record, these young ones look just like their parents and seem to act an awful lot like tham and I'm ever so curious to see how they'll turn out in the next 18 years. I'm quite chuffed about being an aunt even though officially I have no responvibility for these kids. But I like the thought of aunt-ism. Maybe I might have something to offer them in the future.

I don't have babies. I didn't get married or engaged or pregnant in the past 2 years. I did change my job a few times until I realised that in order to REALLY change and do things differently I might just have to start doing things differently. And I got poor and I worked overtime to not be so because I don't do poor and in debt well and then I realised I'm doing both ok even if I don't like it (and being either is certainly not a goal). So I don't work over time anymore. Not on things that don't matter. I'm still trying to figure out how to work overtime on things that do. Brain says "Get it done woman!", body says "snoooze. 5 more minutes. OH THERE'S SOMETHING SHINY OVER THERE WE MUST SPEND HOURS OBSESSING OVER IT BECAUSE IT'S SO SHINY AND OHMYGODIWANTSIT!"
Did anything happen at all? Well besides kinda sorta turning *cough*raw vegan*cough* and setting up the shop and trying to work on the sister shop... no, nothing much. Did I change? Hard to tell from this angle. Maybe I finally got it in my ginormous head that people need people and that you're only as alone as you want to be (all together now: D'UH!) but I still don't quite know how to work for my own happiness or how to seperate relaxing with your eyes closed and sleeping.

Please stop hitting your head on the desk.

It's always a work in progress. I think for being as stubborn as I am I'm doing ok. Room for major improvements? Always. There's always things to work towards. For one, it'd be lovely if there was an actual difference between me and that naked hermit living under the bush. Right now there isn't much. He's got a better tan though. It's a free lifestyle, but not quite what I'm aiming for. I'd be more curious about living with actual people for once. And trying out that marriage thing. It might be a hoot. Babies? Eh... maybe I'll adopt that dog first and we'll see if I manage not to lose that one. It's a big apartment, I might forget.
I guess it's true that if you swim in the ocean, it's a long way everywhere. So just keep swimming and you might just get there.

IF - "Transportation"

*sigh* So much to still learn about this digital drawing...

IF - "Old-fashioned"

IF - "Proverb"

My own worst enemy. Not exactly a proverb, but the first thing on my mind. Or on my head.

IF - "Dessert"

IF - "Double"

Illustration Friday: Satellite

Wherever he goes, cupcakes and sparkles follow.

Oh hai! Purpose?

This is the purpose and goal of this blog: