New things and my future home

This is my future home. Apparently locals kind of shun the gigantic, floor to cieling windows (that don't have bars on them) and the building has been pretty much empty since it was built a year or so ago. I think's magnificient. Roomy, white and has WAY too much exposure to ever allow for running around without pants and it's just perfect.
Lord knows I need some discipline with the pants issue....

Anyhow, before buying this entire building/just getting a single apartment to have orgies/torillas in, I should probably get good at spanish. And pass my therapy with a clean bill of health. And possibly learn salsa. Or not. I know the White Girl Shuffle, so I can be exotic and attract Le Suitors with my complete inability to connect with my hips. Falling on my face on the dancefloor is always funny. Gives potential mates the opportunity to show off their strenght. Getting carried to the ambulance = marriage potential. Getting dragged out by the hair = well... if they're cute...
Oh yeah, I started school last week. And went to my first ever therapy session. And burned my right eye and scalp by being a pasty european and standing outside. It happens. Good thing I only burned the skin around my right eye, otherwise I might look silly. Now it just looks like someone beat me up in school. But the best part is what I was told to do to treat it: dab milk on it before adding moisturiser. Done. That's not so bad. Only then I might have kind of overslept and not have the time to shower and yeah, I stil have milk from yesterday rubbed on my scalp, so it's starting to make more sense why people switched seats away from me in the class today . Sorry. I stink.
Sometimes I wonder if all these things I'm being told to do here actually ARE traditional local remedies or if step-dad is just messing with me. What do I know. He has street cred. He says to stick a lizard up my nose for good luck because it's a traditional mexican remedy, I go "ok!" and go find a lizard.

Er, yes, back to the school thing. So pronouciation, spanish in spanish and a class of salsa that I took because I had to take something and it was only supposed to be 2 hours once a week. But it seems our salsa teacher takes salsa very seriously indeed and once a week has now turned into twice a week and it's not so much swinging your hips and laughing at how awkward all of us Europeans are, but practising for dear life to perform in front of the entire university on December.
This is not what I signed up for. I am not having fun. Yet.
Also, it's not really falling on my face as it is realising that somewhere during the past 15 years, I completely lost touch with my body. I took ballet, for crying out loud! This cannot be so hard! unles I sucked at ballet and no one wanted to point that out....
.. best not think about that.
But yes. So far have only managed to feel like a gaseous blimp, swinging my arms around in what I think is an attractive manner but resembling mostly a motorboat. Or a blimp. If the blimp had arms and was wearing a dress and didn't know what rhythm was. Which is something that eludes a lot of blimps (little known fact).
Not a happy bunny. Maybe I'll learn to enjoy it? They say that people who get kidnapped eventually learn to like their captors.

It's probably not a good sign that I'm trying my damnest to NOT think about salsa classes even if I love the fact that the group is big and OMGALLTHESENEWPEOPLEICOULDGETTOKNOWANDSQUEEEPEOPLE!!!!

It's been a damn fast few weeks. I did promise art blog sort of stuff, and yet I can't deliver right now. There are computer and scanner issues (one computer does uploading faster but sucks at other things, the other computer does NOT like uploading at all and kind of has The Blue Screen Of Death, but has all the appropriate programs.. when you can keep it from dying on you. Getting programs on the less fatally ill computer is not an option for now) as well as some tiny little scheduling issues with there only being 24 hours in a day and some of those should ideally be used for sleeping. I'm working on that. Eventually, I might not have to sleep at all. It's good to have goals. But it could very well be that I might possibly just get something posted in an artsy manner tomorrow. Which would be nice. Cuz it would make me feel fussy with accomplishment. Fuzzy is good.
Really, it's all more organised than it sounds, but dang it I think my brain has turned to frijoles. Mmmmmm.. frijoles...

K, I think I might need to sleep a little now. By-e.

Serious matters are semi-serious

Now what does that even mean. I guess it means that yes, serious business is serious, but there's a very absurd side to almost everything. It means that while you need to invest yourself 100% to whatever it is you want out of life (or more precisely, whatever it is you want your life to be), if you do so by furrowing your brow so hard your eyes start bleeding, you're doing it wrong. Working hard doesn't mean stop laughing. If you ever find yourself doing that, you're in trouble. What are you really looking for in life if whatever you're doing is not bringing you joy? Are you waiting for someone to come and do things for you? Are you waiting for the unpleasantness to somehow magically turn into whatever it is you're dreaming about?
Life is not a montage.. fortunately. We are priviliged to be present and take part in every single moment of our lives. Even the bits we don't like.

What I'm getting at is a bunch of clichés that make more sense the more you think about them:
"Whatever you do in life, make sure it fulfills 3 basic rules: 1. it serves a purpose, 2. it has beauty, 3. it brings you pleasure." (think about that outside the measures of beauty = photoshopped model in Marie Claire or pleasure = getting your naughty bits out and rubbing them)
"There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going."
"We're all in a rush to get in line to reach our goals until we realise there's no goal, just a line." (Mexican version of the buddhist lesson of not doing your dishes to get the dishes done, but to do them to do the dishes)

Should you choose to accept this mission, you will have to invest +100% of yourself to your life and happiness, be present in every situation of it, listen carefully, love your heart out, wrap yourself in a blanket of awesome positive people and speak up for yourself.
Oh speaking, you elusive beast. As much as we like to produce words and talk, it seems actually talking about the things that matter is the second hardest thing in the world. It's a skill that you have to learn. Learn it, be happy.

On a side note on people who didn't worry too much, it's said that da Vinci had 3 dinner rules:
1. You are not allowed to murder anyone in the table during dinner.
2. You are not allowed to wipe your mouth on anyone else's clothing because..
3. .. that's what the cat tied to the table leg is for

On a side note to that side note in a completely unrelated subject... sort of...; this week will get some art/comics blog stuff going. Hold your breath, plaz. ;)

Some dreams really do come true

I have been to Starbucks. Oh yes, I have been to Starbucks.
Also have been to 7Eleven, alas, was more underwhelmed by that experience. Maybe it's a Mexican thing, but there were no Slurpees and I was promised Slurpees. They were also lacking in the bubble gum I was looking for so no money for them. Ha! Though I did give them 6 or 7 tries by visiting all the different locations they have along Insurgentes. So you can't say I didn't give them the opportunity.
Starbucks. Right. What can I say... the drink was lime green and cold and delicious (yes, I admit that I enjoyed it) and looked nothing at all like green tea, but a lot like something called "green tea latte frappe thingypoo". It also looked nothing like anything they have on their website. This is what drinks look like on their site. This is how absolutely everything is served there, regardles if you're planning on taking your drink with you or being a hipsters and just sitting at the shop with your macbook and judging yourself silently.
Y?! Y U serve drinks from soulless plastic cups that slowly choke the life out of our planet?! Y U want to kill Earth, Starbucks, Y?! D:

ANYhoo....

Besides that, yeah, I did enjoy my flavoured sugar water. I might even go back for seconds. Though due to shop policies of getting tired of showing up on Tumblr blogs.. I mean protecting company secrets like chair shapes and such (I don't even know), there wont be pictures from inside the shop as we are not allowed to do such things. Only pictures with myself or whomever I'm with showing in the frame are allowed. Images of decor, drinks, foods, furniture, light fixtures, employers and their dogs in the frame are not allowed.
I'd love to say that such ridiculousness would make me take my moneys elsewhere, but I'd probably be lying. Until I can find a coffee shop in this city that serves coffee/hot flavoured sugar water in actual cups I'm affraid that I might have to get another green frappy flappy thingy with sporks from Starbucks.

Besides thrilling myself to pieces at a fastfood joint I have been sleeping on hotel couches, working in the kitchen for 3 days to prevent mum from killing another chef, sleeping on library couches to make room for extra spiritual ladies, eaten berries that had been thoroughly fondled by several hands, gone on a tourist tour of Tehuacan's town hall and not understood a word of what was being said (besides the bit about the president who got the mural painted.. that is president on the area of Tehuacan... wanted the history of the entire world from the forming of the universe until the present day and also the bit about killing goats once a year, included in the mural. It has skulls and dinosaurs in it. It's kind of kick ass. And I don't have pictures.) aaaand force fed a pigeon. The pigeon might be pregnant. Unles he's a dude.
Oh yeah, we got pigeons to replace the one that died. One doesn't eat and the other one has a very visible head trauma and is just too darn happy with everything ever. Either he's a rough and ready survivor or he just got hit on the head in exactly the right spot.



And I did actually learn something new this week: pine nuts are a lot of work. To get the nuts, you get a pine cone, you crack it open to get out all the dark lil nuts inside (easily 10 or so per cone and they can stick hard), then you crack the dark outer shell of the nut with your teeth to get to the actual edible nut inside. Now this is nothing new. This is how most nuts work. What is new is that a pine nut is pinkish when it's raw. It turns white when it's boiled. So if you're one of those people who prefer eating their food raw (like, say, a raw foodist), you now know that none of the pine nuts you get from the store are raw. If you're really hardcore about eating only "living" food, you go to the market and get a bag of pine cones and you make like a squirrel for your pesto. Or just eat them as is. Can't recall offhand now, but the energy you use for getting the nuts out.. no, not like that... is probably pretty equal to the energy you get from eating a nut. No, I don't mean it like that either.
You're a pervert and I'm totally not putting these thoughts into your head.
Also, almonds are not raw but steamed/boiled if you can rub the skin off them dry or after soaking. Pro tip.
Pine cones in the centre. Little nuts on the right with shell and in the middle without the shell:


So that's my few weeks. Still haven't completed my homework for The Masterplan For The Rest Of My Life And Everything, but I think I had a pretty valid excuse for not getting around to it very much.
Having said that, I have put thought into it. And I think I might want to live in this crazy country for a wee while after I get a degree in something/to study if I don't get accepted in Finland. I might even want to learn how to drive in Mexico City.
I might have caught something from all the hugging and kissing these people do.
I don't think I want to get better from it.

I'm on a boat!

If by chance you ever happen to have a hankering for a boat ride with someone else doing all the muscle work and you're not near Venice (and you happen to be in Mexico) there's a place designed just for you: Xochimilco Aztec canals. Why would you want to go on a boat ride with someone else doing all the muscle work and undermining your masculinity, you may ask. Well, here's why: the canals are what's left/after some modification a preserved piece of the Aztec world. They weren't originally meant for leisurly drunken boating like one would think. Oh no, they were an ingenious form of agriculture, combining wet and dry crop growing.
Not for ferrying tourists around.
For growing food for an ancient metropolis.
Genius!
Also, if your masculinity can't take someone else pushing the boat along for a few hours, possibly you shouldn't be getting on boats.

Besides seeing the canal itself, the fancy boats and local wildlife (the place is said to be good for bird spotting), you can buy plants, see Isla de las Munecas, visit museums etc etc all of which you can find more about in the very comprehensive Wiki page.

Now things you should know that they might not tell you but are still darn good to know about boating in general:

1. DO NOT visit this place during a national holiday. It will be much like bumper cars only with less cars, more water and not quite as much fun. It's also much like Mexico City traffic in general only with less of a chance of getting run over/exploded/basically killed. There's a very good possibility that you will end up going in small circles in the canal with your condolier getting increasingly frustrated by the lack of maneuvering space and occasionally falling off the boat. But there will be plenty of refreshments and colliding musical numbers to keep you reasonably entertained if you'll follow the next advice...
2. Getting drunk is a good idea, especially if you're not into all the history and ancient awe and stuffs. This will keep your spirits either high(ish) or your grasp of time appropriately muddy. It will also make you hungry for corn/tortillas/beer/candied apples and submissive to any of the myriad musical numbers being performed on top of each other by the musicians floating by. Make no mistake, these are talented people making a living and they will do their very best to entertain you. However, this does not include playing the same song at the same time as all the other bands touring the canals.
3. Also know when getting a boat, you pay either BY THE BOAT or BY THE HOUR. If by any chance someone tries to tell you that you have to pay per person, know that they are a lying, scheming scumbag who will surely catch a horrible venerial disease from all the scammed pesos in their pockets that will make their balls turn green and rot away. Raybans and official badges do not mark a friend from a foe in this case. Just know that 200-300pesos per hour for a boat is reasonable. And that's all I got to say about that.
4. No one seems to know what's up with the swans. Possibly an early onset of Oh-that's-nice-I'm-going-to-do-the-same-thing. They just are.
5. Water is wet.
6. Don't drink from the canal.
7. Are you really still reading this?
8. Fine then.
9. Here's a picture of a tiny dog.

I say tomaatti, you say tortilla!

Welp, here we are. Going on 3rd week in Mexico.
What have I learned so far? That the words for "chicken" and "assist" sound suspiciously similar in spanish to the untrained ear. That there are spiders in living quarters that may bite you in the face in the middle on the night and lay eggs under your skin. That there are a lot of Starbucks' and car dealerships in Mexico City. That people die on busses going over the mountains from the City to Toluca due to the rapid altitude change. That Santa Fe is pretty and expensive and built on soil that'll swallow your house like a loose rectum when an appropriate earthquake hits. That there are tiny, insignificant earthquakes here every day that you only notice when items mysteriously change places without anyone touching them. That Spanish is a good thing to master. That these people really like monumental buildings and murals. That water pressure is low and but the temperature is balmy. That avocados on tortillas with a little salt is just about the best thing I've ever eaten.

It might also be added that the people are pretty awesome, just like they are in most places once you get to know them, and they'll continue on being awesome even after they notice you don't speak their language. They also work hard and long hours and appreciate a good education above all else.Well, all else besides not being a dick to other people and other such hippy nonsense. And whatever else you might have heard about Mexico City, you should know that their university is pretty darn impressive in size alone. AND and, if you're a culture snob like I am, you'll be duely impressed by their library, which houses the most first edition books in the entire world.
It's also bloody enormous.
But that's nothing compared to the culture centre right next to it.
Am I impressed? Oh hell yes.

Relatives are still as nuts as any. But it's a good kind of nuts. Like walnuts: a litte wrinkly on the outside but containing huge amounts of healthy oils and minerals.

I'm sure that in the coming months I'll run into more things I don't much care for besides cold morning showers and sneezing black snoot every few hours and the underground being slightly on the warm side, but right now, life is pretty good.
I'm anxiously waiting for next week so I can go visit a 7Eleven and eat fruit and spend some money on guanabana ice cream.
Oh yeah, did I mention I'm not allowed to eat fruit? Yeah.. doctor's orders. Kinda put a damper on that whole "raw vegan" thing.
Oh well, at least I'm allowed an avocado on a tortilla per meal. Life is grand.