New things and my future home

This is my future home. Apparently locals kind of shun the gigantic, floor to cieling windows (that don't have bars on them) and the building has been pretty much empty since it was built a year or so ago. I think's magnificient. Roomy, white and has WAY too much exposure to ever allow for running around without pants and it's just perfect.
Lord knows I need some discipline with the pants issue....

Anyhow, before buying this entire building/just getting a single apartment to have orgies/torillas in, I should probably get good at spanish. And pass my therapy with a clean bill of health. And possibly learn salsa. Or not. I know the White Girl Shuffle, so I can be exotic and attract Le Suitors with my complete inability to connect with my hips. Falling on my face on the dancefloor is always funny. Gives potential mates the opportunity to show off their strenght. Getting carried to the ambulance = marriage potential. Getting dragged out by the hair = well... if they're cute...
Oh yeah, I started school last week. And went to my first ever therapy session. And burned my right eye and scalp by being a pasty european and standing outside. It happens. Good thing I only burned the skin around my right eye, otherwise I might look silly. Now it just looks like someone beat me up in school. But the best part is what I was told to do to treat it: dab milk on it before adding moisturiser. Done. That's not so bad. Only then I might have kind of overslept and not have the time to shower and yeah, I stil have milk from yesterday rubbed on my scalp, so it's starting to make more sense why people switched seats away from me in the class today . Sorry. I stink.
Sometimes I wonder if all these things I'm being told to do here actually ARE traditional local remedies or if step-dad is just messing with me. What do I know. He has street cred. He says to stick a lizard up my nose for good luck because it's a traditional mexican remedy, I go "ok!" and go find a lizard.

Er, yes, back to the school thing. So pronouciation, spanish in spanish and a class of salsa that I took because I had to take something and it was only supposed to be 2 hours once a week. But it seems our salsa teacher takes salsa very seriously indeed and once a week has now turned into twice a week and it's not so much swinging your hips and laughing at how awkward all of us Europeans are, but practising for dear life to perform in front of the entire university on December.
This is not what I signed up for. I am not having fun. Yet.
Also, it's not really falling on my face as it is realising that somewhere during the past 15 years, I completely lost touch with my body. I took ballet, for crying out loud! This cannot be so hard! unles I sucked at ballet and no one wanted to point that out....
.. best not think about that.
But yes. So far have only managed to feel like a gaseous blimp, swinging my arms around in what I think is an attractive manner but resembling mostly a motorboat. Or a blimp. If the blimp had arms and was wearing a dress and didn't know what rhythm was. Which is something that eludes a lot of blimps (little known fact).
Not a happy bunny. Maybe I'll learn to enjoy it? They say that people who get kidnapped eventually learn to like their captors.

It's probably not a good sign that I'm trying my damnest to NOT think about salsa classes even if I love the fact that the group is big and OMGALLTHESENEWPEOPLEICOULDGETTOKNOWANDSQUEEEPEOPLE!!!!

It's been a damn fast few weeks. I did promise art blog sort of stuff, and yet I can't deliver right now. There are computer and scanner issues (one computer does uploading faster but sucks at other things, the other computer does NOT like uploading at all and kind of has The Blue Screen Of Death, but has all the appropriate programs.. when you can keep it from dying on you. Getting programs on the less fatally ill computer is not an option for now) as well as some tiny little scheduling issues with there only being 24 hours in a day and some of those should ideally be used for sleeping. I'm working on that. Eventually, I might not have to sleep at all. It's good to have goals. But it could very well be that I might possibly just get something posted in an artsy manner tomorrow. Which would be nice. Cuz it would make me feel fussy with accomplishment. Fuzzy is good.
Really, it's all more organised than it sounds, but dang it I think my brain has turned to frijoles. Mmmmmm.. frijoles...

K, I think I might need to sleep a little now. By-e.

Some dreams really do come true

I have been to Starbucks. Oh yes, I have been to Starbucks.
Also have been to 7Eleven, alas, was more underwhelmed by that experience. Maybe it's a Mexican thing, but there were no Slurpees and I was promised Slurpees. They were also lacking in the bubble gum I was looking for so no money for them. Ha! Though I did give them 6 or 7 tries by visiting all the different locations they have along Insurgentes. So you can't say I didn't give them the opportunity.
Starbucks. Right. What can I say... the drink was lime green and cold and delicious (yes, I admit that I enjoyed it) and looked nothing at all like green tea, but a lot like something called "green tea latte frappe thingypoo". It also looked nothing like anything they have on their website. This is what drinks look like on their site. This is how absolutely everything is served there, regardles if you're planning on taking your drink with you or being a hipsters and just sitting at the shop with your macbook and judging yourself silently.
Y?! Y U serve drinks from soulless plastic cups that slowly choke the life out of our planet?! Y U want to kill Earth, Starbucks, Y?! D:

ANYhoo....

Besides that, yeah, I did enjoy my flavoured sugar water. I might even go back for seconds. Though due to shop policies of getting tired of showing up on Tumblr blogs.. I mean protecting company secrets like chair shapes and such (I don't even know), there wont be pictures from inside the shop as we are not allowed to do such things. Only pictures with myself or whomever I'm with showing in the frame are allowed. Images of decor, drinks, foods, furniture, light fixtures, employers and their dogs in the frame are not allowed.
I'd love to say that such ridiculousness would make me take my moneys elsewhere, but I'd probably be lying. Until I can find a coffee shop in this city that serves coffee/hot flavoured sugar water in actual cups I'm affraid that I might have to get another green frappy flappy thingy with sporks from Starbucks.

Besides thrilling myself to pieces at a fastfood joint I have been sleeping on hotel couches, working in the kitchen for 3 days to prevent mum from killing another chef, sleeping on library couches to make room for extra spiritual ladies, eaten berries that had been thoroughly fondled by several hands, gone on a tourist tour of Tehuacan's town hall and not understood a word of what was being said (besides the bit about the president who got the mural painted.. that is president on the area of Tehuacan... wanted the history of the entire world from the forming of the universe until the present day and also the bit about killing goats once a year, included in the mural. It has skulls and dinosaurs in it. It's kind of kick ass. And I don't have pictures.) aaaand force fed a pigeon. The pigeon might be pregnant. Unles he's a dude.
Oh yeah, we got pigeons to replace the one that died. One doesn't eat and the other one has a very visible head trauma and is just too darn happy with everything ever. Either he's a rough and ready survivor or he just got hit on the head in exactly the right spot.



And I did actually learn something new this week: pine nuts are a lot of work. To get the nuts, you get a pine cone, you crack it open to get out all the dark lil nuts inside (easily 10 or so per cone and they can stick hard), then you crack the dark outer shell of the nut with your teeth to get to the actual edible nut inside. Now this is nothing new. This is how most nuts work. What is new is that a pine nut is pinkish when it's raw. It turns white when it's boiled. So if you're one of those people who prefer eating their food raw (like, say, a raw foodist), you now know that none of the pine nuts you get from the store are raw. If you're really hardcore about eating only "living" food, you go to the market and get a bag of pine cones and you make like a squirrel for your pesto. Or just eat them as is. Can't recall offhand now, but the energy you use for getting the nuts out.. no, not like that... is probably pretty equal to the energy you get from eating a nut. No, I don't mean it like that either.
You're a pervert and I'm totally not putting these thoughts into your head.
Also, almonds are not raw but steamed/boiled if you can rub the skin off them dry or after soaking. Pro tip.
Pine cones in the centre. Little nuts on the right with shell and in the middle without the shell:


So that's my few weeks. Still haven't completed my homework for The Masterplan For The Rest Of My Life And Everything, but I think I had a pretty valid excuse for not getting around to it very much.
Having said that, I have put thought into it. And I think I might want to live in this crazy country for a wee while after I get a degree in something/to study if I don't get accepted in Finland. I might even want to learn how to drive in Mexico City.
I might have caught something from all the hugging and kissing these people do.
I don't think I want to get better from it.

I'm on a boat!

If by chance you ever happen to have a hankering for a boat ride with someone else doing all the muscle work and you're not near Venice (and you happen to be in Mexico) there's a place designed just for you: Xochimilco Aztec canals. Why would you want to go on a boat ride with someone else doing all the muscle work and undermining your masculinity, you may ask. Well, here's why: the canals are what's left/after some modification a preserved piece of the Aztec world. They weren't originally meant for leisurly drunken boating like one would think. Oh no, they were an ingenious form of agriculture, combining wet and dry crop growing.
Not for ferrying tourists around.
For growing food for an ancient metropolis.
Genius!
Also, if your masculinity can't take someone else pushing the boat along for a few hours, possibly you shouldn't be getting on boats.

Besides seeing the canal itself, the fancy boats and local wildlife (the place is said to be good for bird spotting), you can buy plants, see Isla de las Munecas, visit museums etc etc all of which you can find more about in the very comprehensive Wiki page.

Now things you should know that they might not tell you but are still darn good to know about boating in general:

1. DO NOT visit this place during a national holiday. It will be much like bumper cars only with less cars, more water and not quite as much fun. It's also much like Mexico City traffic in general only with less of a chance of getting run over/exploded/basically killed. There's a very good possibility that you will end up going in small circles in the canal with your condolier getting increasingly frustrated by the lack of maneuvering space and occasionally falling off the boat. But there will be plenty of refreshments and colliding musical numbers to keep you reasonably entertained if you'll follow the next advice...
2. Getting drunk is a good idea, especially if you're not into all the history and ancient awe and stuffs. This will keep your spirits either high(ish) or your grasp of time appropriately muddy. It will also make you hungry for corn/tortillas/beer/candied apples and submissive to any of the myriad musical numbers being performed on top of each other by the musicians floating by. Make no mistake, these are talented people making a living and they will do their very best to entertain you. However, this does not include playing the same song at the same time as all the other bands touring the canals.
3. Also know when getting a boat, you pay either BY THE BOAT or BY THE HOUR. If by any chance someone tries to tell you that you have to pay per person, know that they are a lying, scheming scumbag who will surely catch a horrible venerial disease from all the scammed pesos in their pockets that will make their balls turn green and rot away. Raybans and official badges do not mark a friend from a foe in this case. Just know that 200-300pesos per hour for a boat is reasonable. And that's all I got to say about that.
4. No one seems to know what's up with the swans. Possibly an early onset of Oh-that's-nice-I'm-going-to-do-the-same-thing. They just are.
5. Water is wet.
6. Don't drink from the canal.
7. Are you really still reading this?
8. Fine then.
9. Here's a picture of a tiny dog.

I say tomaatti, you say tortilla!

Welp, here we are. Going on 3rd week in Mexico.
What have I learned so far? That the words for "chicken" and "assist" sound suspiciously similar in spanish to the untrained ear. That there are spiders in living quarters that may bite you in the face in the middle on the night and lay eggs under your skin. That there are a lot of Starbucks' and car dealerships in Mexico City. That people die on busses going over the mountains from the City to Toluca due to the rapid altitude change. That Santa Fe is pretty and expensive and built on soil that'll swallow your house like a loose rectum when an appropriate earthquake hits. That there are tiny, insignificant earthquakes here every day that you only notice when items mysteriously change places without anyone touching them. That Spanish is a good thing to master. That these people really like monumental buildings and murals. That water pressure is low and but the temperature is balmy. That avocados on tortillas with a little salt is just about the best thing I've ever eaten.

It might also be added that the people are pretty awesome, just like they are in most places once you get to know them, and they'll continue on being awesome even after they notice you don't speak their language. They also work hard and long hours and appreciate a good education above all else.Well, all else besides not being a dick to other people and other such hippy nonsense. And whatever else you might have heard about Mexico City, you should know that their university is pretty darn impressive in size alone. AND and, if you're a culture snob like I am, you'll be duely impressed by their library, which houses the most first edition books in the entire world.
It's also bloody enormous.
But that's nothing compared to the culture centre right next to it.
Am I impressed? Oh hell yes.

Relatives are still as nuts as any. But it's a good kind of nuts. Like walnuts: a litte wrinkly on the outside but containing huge amounts of healthy oils and minerals.

I'm sure that in the coming months I'll run into more things I don't much care for besides cold morning showers and sneezing black snoot every few hours and the underground being slightly on the warm side, but right now, life is pretty good.
I'm anxiously waiting for next week so I can go visit a 7Eleven and eat fruit and spend some money on guanabana ice cream.
Oh yeah, did I mention I'm not allowed to eat fruit? Yeah.. doctor's orders. Kinda put a damper on that whole "raw vegan" thing.
Oh well, at least I'm allowed an avocado on a tortilla per meal. Life is grand.

Done and done!

Slept on the floor this past weekend with most of the furniture having been picked up by... well, everyone and their pet snake in the two days before that. Then two days of Extreme Cleaning and finally today handing over the apartment keys.
So officially I don't have a home of my own anymore. What I do have is 2 forwarding addresses and tickets to Mexico City for tomorrow morning.

It's very weird, very surreal, very constipating and my god did I have a metric shit-ton of crap in my house!
(double points for managing to make two references to poo in the same sentence)
And it's not even that I'd collect stuff. Bar Friends DVD boxed sets, I don't collect things. I don't like excess stuff. Unless it's pretty clothes. Wait, no, not even when it's pretty clothes. I don't like excess stuff. I hate tiny little things that serve no purpose and unles they were hand-carved by someone dear to me out of bark from The Tree Of Life and they wept blood and raw dreams on it, I'm not going to like useless knick-knacks. And I still managed to have a whole other housefull of useless items.
I'd like to blame all the friends I have that like carving shit out of The Tree Of Life.
Mostly though, what it boils down to is that there was a lot of stuff I was carrying around that belonged to mum that I'm pretty sure she's already forgotten she ever owned AND the fact that we, as people/humans collectively, manufacture, use, own, desire a whole lot of pointless stuff. Could I live my life perfectly happy without having all seasons of Friends on DVDs at my constant disposal at all times 24/7? I think I might. Could I bear to pot my plants in pots that don't perfectly match in shade to the curtains? I'd probably live. Why exactly have some unnamed relatives given me several kilograms of substandard drawing paper as gifts over the years? Because they're awesome at supporting me but really crap at estimating what sort of paper would be worth even looking at twice.

More importantly: why are companies producing piss poor drawing paper that doesn't stand for any other kind of drawing method besides lightly brushing with a very very soft pencil from several feet away? Why is there so much manufacturing (ie. using natural resources from raw ingredients like oil and minerals and trees and water to pure energy expenditude) of items that do not last, are not meant to last, are not qualified to be used for the things they say they are and basically serve no purpose but to employ people and to use up those pesky dwindling natural resources I mentioned?
Here's an idea: how about we just make stuff that actually does what it claims to and isn't built so that it only has Functional and Fuck That Shit settings? You think that might help with all that Energy Crisis and Depleted Natural Resources stuff?
No?

Of course, the bad bit with thinking crazy like this is that it'll eventually lead you to thinking that wait, if we did that, there'd be a lot less demand for stuff (because the stuff would last longer and be fixable), ergo there'd be a lot fewer jobs and a lot less money to go around. Now, I know this may sound like crazy talk, but I keeping thinking that you know, maybe we like possibly work too much. Like, maybe, just maybe, there are people who work like 12-14 hour days and make tuppence for it. And like.. I dunno.. maybe it might be possible that if we produced less pointless crap, those people who work crazy hours could work like only moderately crazy hours and maybe if we spread out all that left-over work, they'd have to work even less and maybe have time for living and stuff and you know, if the money was sort of more evenly and fairly distributed, it wouldn't matter that people would only work for like 4 hours/day because they could still afford to live.

But that's just crazy hippy commie talk. So better stop thinking nonsense.

Is it a perfect plan? Of course not. There are no perfect plans, just happier people.

It's 1am already. Maybe I should get a few hours sleep from all this socio-economical gobbledygook. Got a continent to change today.
So yeah... next Sunday I'll be in Mexico wondering what the hell happened to my life.


(Oh and in case you were wondering about the smells in my apartment and I know you're not but I'm going to tell you anyway; the old booze smell came from emptying out my liquor cabinet in the sink and the butt-smell came from my favourite ballerinas starting to rot from all the humidity and foot-sweat we've been having over here lately. I thought you'd appreciate all the details. You know I only tell you because I love you.)

With the wave of my magic wand...

.. all the furniture magically doesn't go anywhere. Yup, it's all still there. You'd think what with most people complaning about lack of money and insane prices, selling furniture (that does NOT smell like urine and as far as I've noticed, does NOT have cooties) for tuppence would be dead easy. You'd think that and you would be wrong. People don't seem to want used furniture. I'm reminded by that every day by the sheer amount of furniture still sitting in my living room AND by that sorry old sofa someone ditched in the hallway of our building. We get that a lot. Which makes this place sound a lot more like a slum for very rich people with a lot of extra furniture, than it actually is. I've come to the conclusion that most people don't seem to know that if your stuff is broken, you can fix it. If it can't be fixed (and smells like weewee and has cooties) there are places that you're pretty much obliged by law to take those things to. These places will then either fix the unfixable for you because let's face it, you suck and just didn't know how to do things right, or they'll dig a hole and bury it.

And when I say "pretty much obliged by the law" I mean, you are required by the law to do these things or get fined/jailed depending on how much environmental damage your crap causes when not thrown away in the proper manner.
That's how we roll.
And I think we roll ok all things considerable.

So the furniture is pretty much all still there even though my cousins are supposed to come by at some point to see if they want anything and I've been texting friends and relatives to come pick up premium quality crap (read: "wholesome, useful everyday items that are totally not unused ticklers or whips because I already gave those away for a good home")for cheapskies/free. It's not really the furniture I get attached to though, it's the books. And I got a lot of books to give away. Even used book stores don't want the stuff anymore and apparently most libraries are verboten to accept donations in books.
But... it's books. One does not simply throw away books. There be information in those things! It's like throwing away food! You just don't do it man, unles you find a finger or a used condom in those. Used condom inside a fish.
Not to sound whiny about all this, but does it strike anyone else as complete insanity that there's so much perfectly useful stuff, items that are fully functional and not contagious and we're forced to throw this stuff away in most cases? I realise that manuals for Paint Shop Pro 9 are probably not really useful for anyone anymore, bar antique tech geeks, but take the washing machine for example. Y U not want my totez awesome used washing machine, world? Y?! If there was ever a moment when the amount of stuff cluttering up the world became a concrete concept, it's this. Why get a perfectly awesome, not broken, vintage couch for 10€ when you can buy a clunky new one from Ikea for 200€ even if it wont last you for 5 years because it's made of cheap materials and glued together with the tears of a child labourer. Screw you world, it matches my bleached bunghole!

You know what else is hard to get rid off that I have a metric ton of? Canned fish in tomato sauce and wooly socks. Your guess is as good as mine. You always try to prepare for a zombie apocalypse and then it never comes when you're all stocked up on canned fish and warm socks. If the zombies come right after I get this move done, I will look SO silly.

Other than that the week has been one big runaround taking clothing to charity shops and digging through the closet to find all the what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-back-then that I'm sure someone is going to be wearing ironically very soon. Tiny white tee with a light pink sparkly Superman-logo? Yeah.. remember that year when all the shirts were so short they barely covered your bewbs... that wasn't really a good look. We just did the 80's, so early 2000 is bound to be vintage by now, right?

This week I'll be mostly battling humidity, so next Sunday you can read all about how my apartment smells like ass and old liquor.

Blogs, how do they work?!

Oh , where to start. Let's start with the fact that this might not be the funniest thing you'll ever read. I'm so out of practise with funny that I'm like a very out of practise un-funny person. Also, it's Wednesday here, so clearly, this isn't exactly written or posted on a Sunday. So what prompted this sudden need to share in the middle of the night on a rainy Wednesday when it's pretty painfully clear that I should be getting sleep? Here's the thing: the very first post in this blog is about how a job should work (or, you know, life in general) in order for a person to be happy. You need to be able to develop in your work, you need to able to use your assets in other sense than flashing ankles/penis at people to get them to throw money at you. Even if you're not the sharpest tool in the beginners tool-set, you need to feel like you might be one because that's makes you feel appreciated and man, feelings is what it's all about mang. You need to be able to enjoy what you do. In short(-ish): Getting loads of money or even a moderate amount of money only carries you so far in life, doing the things you love, progressing in them, having goals and having people is what makes for a happy camping trip.

"I used to think two was not enough. But now things are great; there are loads of people... I don't know what Will was so pissed about. I don't think couples are the future. The way I see it now, we both got back-up now. It's like that thing Jon Bon Jovi said: 'No man is an island.' "
About A Boy

What I'm getting at is not that I've gone hardcore polyamorous. I haven't even gone hardcore monogamous. BUT, I have learned - and by god it took my thick-ass skull long enough - is that people need people to live a happy life. And that the best way to monologue about your ailments and lack of pants is by monologuing about them to someone else face to face. Then you can hug it out and you realise that pants are a pretty good deal and you should own more than one pair. And you get a hug. Hugs are pretty awesome. So you need other people to keep you sane and to meet yet more people and you can all be a giant cluster of islands that have mutual agreements on helping each other out by talking or borrowing pants or having coffee and sushi and carrying each other's furniture. That's kind of what life's composed of. I have now learned this after having been deprived of such things for several years partly because I didn't know how awesome island clusters are and partly because I live in the Devil's Butthole. I could blame it on the internets, but that would be giving the internets undue credit.

What I've also learned is that there's a reason why most jobs that would constitute as proper jobs and not slavery, have anual vacations. It's not because everyone hates their work so much that they need to get away from it as often as possible, but because you can very easily burn out doing something you enjoy if you don't know how to vacate. I mean have vacations. As in take time off. Or more precisely, regularly do something else besides work. It's not simply a yearly thing. Every day you should do something that isn't your job. And then every week, you should have a day or two of doing something that is also not your job. And every year, you should take a week or a few to go somewhere that's not even close to where you work. That does NOT mean you hate your job. It means you love yourself enough to take care of yourself.

So, getting back to today. I'm now employing my vast knowledge on How To Live Like A Human Being into Living A Happy Life And Having A Job That I Don't Hate More Than Homophobia. Ok, other people kind of maybe put me up to it, but hey, that's their job when they see that I'm not in a position of becoming a beautiful butterfly all on my own. What happened is that I've been slowly gathering up quite a bit of Heavy Crap and Stress that's been completely running my motor down. You know how it goes, first there's one giant arsenugget of a relationship, then another and then you have a nervous breakdown and then you enrol in a school that you don't like just to make some titcrumpet see you (don't do it kids, it never works) and there's (shockingly) more relationship drama and sexual incompetence that would be funny if you weren't lying under it and drinking and yadda yadda yadda... the whole hairy taco with all the garnishes. And you think that you need to deal with it all on your own, but you really didn't have to. But eh, you learn. So I have. And as I'm writing this the current situation is this:
I'm moving to Mexico at the end of this month. And then I'll be applying to study something I enjoy. And while I do this, I'll be arting with my other hand. And I will be happy because I'm not doing any of this alone but I have awesome relatives and friends who want to help out even if they can't say it in nice words. Not everyone knows how to do nice words. You learn. And you learn to listen to what people say as opposed to what you think they say.

I'm going to try to update regularly on Sundays, but I'm not promising I wont miss a day or post late. It could happen that there just aren't internet connections or some people who are supposed to write blogs could be drunk out of their arse. First up: Selling Of The Furniture! - Adventures in getting rid of your stuff

Stay in, stress out, celebrate holidays

I'd be lying if I said the holiday season wasn't driving me a tiny bit nuts. Of course this is all a personal issue what with my learned response of doing an effective rabbit-in-the-headlights thing when faced with more than one task with a deadline at the same time, but it's comforting to know that holidays are the best of times and the worst of times to most people so I can safely say that there are too many drawings still yet to finish, too many supplies yet unbought, too much root growth in my hair, too many crunchy things on the floor, too many pieces of furniture yet to assemble, too few hours in the night and way too many things online that are not even moderately necessary for anything but OMGLOOKATTHATCUTELITTLEPUPPYFALLINGASLEEPIT'SSOCUTESQUEE!!!11!!!!
And there go another 20 minutes.
Or 5 hours.

Good thing the state is keeping up the holiday spirit by providing us both with tangible merry-go-rounds and abstract ones. The abstract one being the brand new law about cutting basic social security by 20-40% from youngsters who either drop out or don't accept a student place if they should happen to get one. I know it doesn't sound bad but wait, there's more! This new law makes it mandatory for people under 26 to apply for both universities AND at least two vocational institutes twice a year. And then accept the place they get once they get it, regardless of what their situation is. I mean, it's not like under 26s might have families of their own, or debt, or control over their own lives, or emotional issues that have prevented them from studying/moving to another province or completing their studies before right? They're just punk ass lazy! And besides, everyone knows that mental health is a myth and can be cured by toughening up, right? Right guis? Guis?
I don't think I'll even go into the financial aspects more than that changing your degree program or place of study wont get you back the student benefit months you've used up already studying something that you didn't really choose. Dropping out early to save those months means losing all benefits.
So with that said, and understanding how worried the powers-that-be are of youth falling between the cracks of society, which part of this grand plan exactly is supposed to make things better? Or is it just supposed to kill off a bunch of people and provide cheap labour for years to come and keep the drugs flowing?
Just the sort of thing young families need to be worrying over a wink before the holidays.

Well, this went into cheery territory fast.
On the up side is that that gorgeous gay guy in Skating With The Stars has done some adult entertainment and is mighty nice to look at without clothes.
Also, we have a lot of snow. And when I say a lot, I mean 5 centimeters away from a decade's record. That would be what's officially called as "a whole bunch" of snow.
And I guess it's not that terrible that this week only has 4 workdays. So the next blog will be after Christmas. And the one after that will be next year. That's scary fast. I'm told that next year will go by even faster. Issa scientific fact. There's a nagging feeling at the back of my head that I should do something spectacular next year.... suggestions welcome in the comments.

Now, say "muikku".

Lights, cookies, action!

On the whole you could say it was a bit of a sucky week, but then again, expected windfalls of small amounts of moneys and feeling like you actually might have done some good counter a great deal of that suckyness. Also: having not one but two (2!) cups of very awesome blueberry frappucino with not one but two (2!!) pear and chocolate cookies is a powermove that pretty much kills all sucky things dead.
World suck: 0, cookies and coffee: 1

I applied to a few different unis (or "universities of applied sciences" which might translate to "college", but what do I know) in the Fall. And by Fall I mean our Fall that start in September and ends in October when things start freezing over. The reuslts came in just at the end of November and no, I didn't get in. Am I bummed? You betcha! Not just because this will push any sort of graduation off by at least 6 months, but also because it means some added expenses if I wish to study in those 6 months AND that I didn't actually get left out because I did poorly in the entrance exams. Out of 70 possible points, 20 are alotted based on previous work experience in the same field as the degree program. Sooooo, if I already had a job in said field, I would've gotten in to study it. Right. Am I the only one that thinks that's just a tiny bit messed up? Yup, it did piss me off that even though I might do well in the exam and the interview, I'm left in a 20 point disadvantage from the start BECAUSE COMPANIES DON'T HIRE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO DEGREES IN THEIR FIELD. I'm assuming this was a totally appropriate division of the points about 25 ears ago when you could still get jobs without actual academic degrees. Not that I'm bitter.

Wait, yes I am.

As a result of this (not of being bitter but the other stuff before that) I have two choices for the next 6 months: 1. I'll take more open uni courses, pay around 500€ for the entrance and the transportation, and maybe possibly thought not very likely, have something to give me extra points on the next round of entrance exams. Also, if I should happen to get in, graduation might not get pushed back a whole 6 months. OR 2. I don't sign up for more courses but instead get a proper lense for my camera and work on the non-academic stuff, so that by Summer next year I might have some extra money and wont have to live off tap water and licking noodle wrappers. Also there's the possible added bonus of maybe getting to do some small amount of traveling. There's also a hidden door number 3. that would allow me to do both option 1. and 2., but that's the stuff of myths and legends and something that you really shouldn't pin your hopes on unles you happen to own a unicorn that poops out golden vegan eggs.

So that's the sucky part. Oh and some airhostesses are on strike but I haven't followed that one at all and then there's some strange religious cult made out of ingeneering students and graduates that apparently makes loads of money for the head of the cult while he pressures wimminz into starving themselves to anorexia, but I haven't much followed that one either. And then some bridges collapsed because of lorries running into them and if you really want to get into World Suck, you should read Guy Delisle's travel comics to put western consumerism in proportion. Yeah, I think that's most of the sucky part. The awesome part was tax returns. And by tax returns I mean being able to get that travel comic of Burma by Guy Delisle and going to Helsinki to enjoy the Christmas lights and finally getting to visit Sis.Deli (a coffee shop of sorts that's based around organic and local food) for that very awesome blueberry frappuccino and cookies served by a very awesome lady and then just sitting at a table with my coffee and cookies, reading a brand spanking new comic book while the snow falls silently outside. It was all very very good. Can you tell I miss Helsinki? Hell, I just miss being part of the human race. A cup of guilt-free coffee and tasty cookies is sometimes all you need to feel warm inside.

Is it narcisistic to be happy about getting a Christmas card from someone with your own design on it?

Social security madness

First off some boring and irritation-fuelled explanation on how social benefits work in Finland: in spirit, much the same way as everywhere else. That is, they're written and monitored in a way that will make you feel like a common criminal applying for them (and only the knowledge that you paid for those benefits from your wages will ever give you strenght enough to do so), that you feel slightly worse when you receive them because of the constant stream of letters reminding you of this or that being something that you should've remembered to notify the officials of (like say, your cat having four legs, which is simply one leg too many and obviously your cat, being one of the people that contributes to your family in a concrete way, is just showing off) and the random dates and locations you need to remember when dealing with your "local" offices. In short, they're made applying for a "benefit" that will enable you to eat and not lose your home so unpleasant to get that you don't really want to. If this is a clever form of psychological warfare or just them  being dicks, I do not know. I do know that it makes people who've fallen on hard times, like a lot of us do at some point in our lives, feel worse about themselves. Which would totally serve a purpose, if it didn't make people suicidal. Which again, can be seen as serving a purpose. Less money spent on social benefits. Result!

Now, I've had to deal with this ridiculous system of dates and Find The Offices and You Are A Very Bad Person letters a few times. I work manual labour. Work is scarse. It's a dying field regardless of what the unions like to think. Those are just facts and I'm not even going to debate them or try to change them. So being unemployed and looking for a job has happened more than once and being on benefits has happened a few times. Both of these things combined were a big enough wake up call to start looking for a way to make a living that required more effort, but hey, I don't consider that a bad thing. You get out what you put in, so high time I put in more. (see the very first post in this blog)
What I do consider a very very bad thing is making people in a bad place feel like they deserve it for not being humble and poor enough. In the history of the world, how often do you get good, permanent results by guilting people? If you answered "around zero" then you'd be right. If you answered "it's the only way to get people to act" then you probably work with the benefits office devicing these letters.
Now the simple fact that you pay taxes on the social security that you recieve is a bit odd. Odd, but not bad. You can say it's income. You get money and it pays the bills; the very definition of income. Only it's not income to the tax officials. Money you make from working is, money you  recieve as benefits is not (this goes back to filling in other paperwork later on and figuring out what sort of income you're enjoying and how much you've paid taxes on it). They just like to tax it. And tax they do. While regularly, you would pay taxes according to how much you earn, when it comes to benefits, you don't. Because its not income. So let's say you worked only part time and had very small income, you'd pay 10% or less in taxes from that. It's a lot from a small sum, but hey, you're paying to uphold the benefits system which is good. You might need it one day. So I definitely don't have an issue with that. When you go on benefits though, you'll pay 20% taxes. From a little over 500€ a month. Now leaving aside the fact that you're paying taxes at all from benefits (couldn't they just pay you less? No? Alrighty then.).. 20%? Really? Because otherwise I'd just use that -50cents on booze and gambling, right?

And that's not even counting in the insanity that is housing benefits. In case someone didn't know, Helsinki is probably one of the most expensive places to rent or to buy property. Why? lord knows. Because we have that fancy church that's shaped like a missile silo? Because we're totez hip and cool and in the heart of Europe with easy access everywhere? No we're not. Because our apartments are so awesome? Well, yes, if you consider things shaped like an L  and bathrooms with sit-in bathtubs and rubber walls awesome, then yes, yes they are. The fact is that buying a single bedroom apartment anywhere around the Helsinki center is going to run you about 150,000 - 180,000 euros. In the center itself, you can ad another ten or twenty thousand. For a single, that would be a lot. But renting is what will make you really poor. Rents are currently running over 600€ for a studio and that's when you happen to get a deal. How does this have anything to do with the benefits? Well, as far as the benefits office goes, you're only allowed to inhabit a certain amount of square meters and pay a certain amount of rent for those and that would be totally reasonable, unles the statistics the benefits are based on weren't from the 1970s. The maximum amount of space a single person is allowed to take up? 37square meters. The maximum amount they're allowed to pay for it? 450€ of which the benefits will graciously cover 330€. So regardless of your current finacial situation, your social situation or your mental situation, you will be getting 330€ to pay your rent, a letter stating that you're paying too much rent (tell me about it!) and a list of state supported companies renting apartments... that currently charge 715€/month for a 31 square meter one bedroom set up. See, they 're being helpfull by suggesting alternatives for you.
Am I grateful for having at least some sort of financial backing from the state? Absolutely. But the madness.. it must stop.

In other news: The time for thermal underwear has come. I don't think I shall mind looking like a ninja for a few months. :D

My life with the no-thrill, raw cult

So it's been a while. A year? Two years? Time goes a bit funny when you don't sleep and then sleep a lot and then upgrade Myspace and then wonder where everyone went.
Did anything interresting happen? Oh, I dunno... my cousins got babies. Loads of them. So I'm now an aunt many times over. Not that I wasn't before what with that one cousin who's been going about the baby-making business with engineered proficiency and having them once every one or two years and they're maybe up to 5 now? But it doesn't really count as they live far away and they were always a bit.. unique. I'm bad at keeping in touch and as we're related, so are they. But hear there are loads of offspring. Now there are bebehs close by too and I happily say that it's weirding me out just a tiny bit. I grew up with these people and we ran around naked in grandma's yard and wondered why they got 6 or 7 folds in their tummy when they sat down and I only got 2 ('tis but stored energy for laters) and now they're.. ah, now we're all in our 30s and they have young ones and it's weird and fascinating and sort of wonderfull and I'm sure everyone will be happy to know that I never once contemplated eating their babies at the baptism ceremony.
I guess there's some truth to family bonds. Makes you not want to eat your family's young.
And for the record, these young ones look just like their parents and seem to act an awful lot like tham and I'm ever so curious to see how they'll turn out in the next 18 years. I'm quite chuffed about being an aunt even though officially I have no responvibility for these kids. But I like the thought of aunt-ism. Maybe I might have something to offer them in the future.

I don't have babies. I didn't get married or engaged or pregnant in the past 2 years. I did change my job a few times until I realised that in order to REALLY change and do things differently I might just have to start doing things differently. And I got poor and I worked overtime to not be so because I don't do poor and in debt well and then I realised I'm doing both ok even if I don't like it (and being either is certainly not a goal). So I don't work over time anymore. Not on things that don't matter. I'm still trying to figure out how to work overtime on things that do. Brain says "Get it done woman!", body says "snoooze. 5 more minutes. OH THERE'S SOMETHING SHINY OVER THERE WE MUST SPEND HOURS OBSESSING OVER IT BECAUSE IT'S SO SHINY AND OHMYGODIWANTSIT!"
Did anything happen at all? Well besides kinda sorta turning *cough*raw vegan*cough* and setting up the shop and trying to work on the sister shop... no, nothing much. Did I change? Hard to tell from this angle. Maybe I finally got it in my ginormous head that people need people and that you're only as alone as you want to be (all together now: D'UH!) but I still don't quite know how to work for my own happiness or how to seperate relaxing with your eyes closed and sleeping.

Please stop hitting your head on the desk.

It's always a work in progress. I think for being as stubborn as I am I'm doing ok. Room for major improvements? Always. There's always things to work towards. For one, it'd be lovely if there was an actual difference between me and that naked hermit living under the bush. Right now there isn't much. He's got a better tan though. It's a free lifestyle, but not quite what I'm aiming for. I'd be more curious about living with actual people for once. And trying out that marriage thing. It might be a hoot. Babies? Eh... maybe I'll adopt that dog first and we'll see if I manage not to lose that one. It's a big apartment, I might forget.
I guess it's true that if you swim in the ocean, it's a long way everywhere. So just keep swimming and you might just get there.