Blogs, how do they work?!

Oh , where to start. Let's start with the fact that this might not be the funniest thing you'll ever read. I'm so out of practise with funny that I'm like a very out of practise un-funny person. Also, it's Wednesday here, so clearly, this isn't exactly written or posted on a Sunday. So what prompted this sudden need to share in the middle of the night on a rainy Wednesday when it's pretty painfully clear that I should be getting sleep? Here's the thing: the very first post in this blog is about how a job should work (or, you know, life in general) in order for a person to be happy. You need to be able to develop in your work, you need to able to use your assets in other sense than flashing ankles/penis at people to get them to throw money at you. Even if you're not the sharpest tool in the beginners tool-set, you need to feel like you might be one because that's makes you feel appreciated and man, feelings is what it's all about mang. You need to be able to enjoy what you do. In short(-ish): Getting loads of money or even a moderate amount of money only carries you so far in life, doing the things you love, progressing in them, having goals and having people is what makes for a happy camping trip.

"I used to think two was not enough. But now things are great; there are loads of people... I don't know what Will was so pissed about. I don't think couples are the future. The way I see it now, we both got back-up now. It's like that thing Jon Bon Jovi said: 'No man is an island.' "
About A Boy

What I'm getting at is not that I've gone hardcore polyamorous. I haven't even gone hardcore monogamous. BUT, I have learned - and by god it took my thick-ass skull long enough - is that people need people to live a happy life. And that the best way to monologue about your ailments and lack of pants is by monologuing about them to someone else face to face. Then you can hug it out and you realise that pants are a pretty good deal and you should own more than one pair. And you get a hug. Hugs are pretty awesome. So you need other people to keep you sane and to meet yet more people and you can all be a giant cluster of islands that have mutual agreements on helping each other out by talking or borrowing pants or having coffee and sushi and carrying each other's furniture. That's kind of what life's composed of. I have now learned this after having been deprived of such things for several years partly because I didn't know how awesome island clusters are and partly because I live in the Devil's Butthole. I could blame it on the internets, but that would be giving the internets undue credit.

What I've also learned is that there's a reason why most jobs that would constitute as proper jobs and not slavery, have anual vacations. It's not because everyone hates their work so much that they need to get away from it as often as possible, but because you can very easily burn out doing something you enjoy if you don't know how to vacate. I mean have vacations. As in take time off. Or more precisely, regularly do something else besides work. It's not simply a yearly thing. Every day you should do something that isn't your job. And then every week, you should have a day or two of doing something that is also not your job. And every year, you should take a week or a few to go somewhere that's not even close to where you work. That does NOT mean you hate your job. It means you love yourself enough to take care of yourself.

So, getting back to today. I'm now employing my vast knowledge on How To Live Like A Human Being into Living A Happy Life And Having A Job That I Don't Hate More Than Homophobia. Ok, other people kind of maybe put me up to it, but hey, that's their job when they see that I'm not in a position of becoming a beautiful butterfly all on my own. What happened is that I've been slowly gathering up quite a bit of Heavy Crap and Stress that's been completely running my motor down. You know how it goes, first there's one giant arsenugget of a relationship, then another and then you have a nervous breakdown and then you enrol in a school that you don't like just to make some titcrumpet see you (don't do it kids, it never works) and there's (shockingly) more relationship drama and sexual incompetence that would be funny if you weren't lying under it and drinking and yadda yadda yadda... the whole hairy taco with all the garnishes. And you think that you need to deal with it all on your own, but you really didn't have to. But eh, you learn. So I have. And as I'm writing this the current situation is this:
I'm moving to Mexico at the end of this month. And then I'll be applying to study something I enjoy. And while I do this, I'll be arting with my other hand. And I will be happy because I'm not doing any of this alone but I have awesome relatives and friends who want to help out even if they can't say it in nice words. Not everyone knows how to do nice words. You learn. And you learn to listen to what people say as opposed to what you think they say.

I'm going to try to update regularly on Sundays, but I'm not promising I wont miss a day or post late. It could happen that there just aren't internet connections or some people who are supposed to write blogs could be drunk out of their arse. First up: Selling Of The Furniture! - Adventures in getting rid of your stuff

Stay in, stress out, celebrate holidays

I'd be lying if I said the holiday season wasn't driving me a tiny bit nuts. Of course this is all a personal issue what with my learned response of doing an effective rabbit-in-the-headlights thing when faced with more than one task with a deadline at the same time, but it's comforting to know that holidays are the best of times and the worst of times to most people so I can safely say that there are too many drawings still yet to finish, too many supplies yet unbought, too much root growth in my hair, too many crunchy things on the floor, too many pieces of furniture yet to assemble, too few hours in the night and way too many things online that are not even moderately necessary for anything but OMGLOOKATTHATCUTELITTLEPUPPYFALLINGASLEEPIT'SSOCUTESQUEE!!!11!!!!
And there go another 20 minutes.
Or 5 hours.

Good thing the state is keeping up the holiday spirit by providing us both with tangible merry-go-rounds and abstract ones. The abstract one being the brand new law about cutting basic social security by 20-40% from youngsters who either drop out or don't accept a student place if they should happen to get one. I know it doesn't sound bad but wait, there's more! This new law makes it mandatory for people under 26 to apply for both universities AND at least two vocational institutes twice a year. And then accept the place they get once they get it, regardless of what their situation is. I mean, it's not like under 26s might have families of their own, or debt, or control over their own lives, or emotional issues that have prevented them from studying/moving to another province or completing their studies before right? They're just punk ass lazy! And besides, everyone knows that mental health is a myth and can be cured by toughening up, right? Right guis? Guis?
I don't think I'll even go into the financial aspects more than that changing your degree program or place of study wont get you back the student benefit months you've used up already studying something that you didn't really choose. Dropping out early to save those months means losing all benefits.
So with that said, and understanding how worried the powers-that-be are of youth falling between the cracks of society, which part of this grand plan exactly is supposed to make things better? Or is it just supposed to kill off a bunch of people and provide cheap labour for years to come and keep the drugs flowing?
Just the sort of thing young families need to be worrying over a wink before the holidays.

Well, this went into cheery territory fast.
On the up side is that that gorgeous gay guy in Skating With The Stars has done some adult entertainment and is mighty nice to look at without clothes.
Also, we have a lot of snow. And when I say a lot, I mean 5 centimeters away from a decade's record. That would be what's officially called as "a whole bunch" of snow.
And I guess it's not that terrible that this week only has 4 workdays. So the next blog will be after Christmas. And the one after that will be next year. That's scary fast. I'm told that next year will go by even faster. Issa scientific fact. There's a nagging feeling at the back of my head that I should do something spectacular next year.... suggestions welcome in the comments.

Now, say "muikku".

Lights, cookies, action!

On the whole you could say it was a bit of a sucky week, but then again, expected windfalls of small amounts of moneys and feeling like you actually might have done some good counter a great deal of that suckyness. Also: having not one but two (2!) cups of very awesome blueberry frappucino with not one but two (2!!) pear and chocolate cookies is a powermove that pretty much kills all sucky things dead.
World suck: 0, cookies and coffee: 1

I applied to a few different unis (or "universities of applied sciences" which might translate to "college", but what do I know) in the Fall. And by Fall I mean our Fall that start in September and ends in October when things start freezing over. The reuslts came in just at the end of November and no, I didn't get in. Am I bummed? You betcha! Not just because this will push any sort of graduation off by at least 6 months, but also because it means some added expenses if I wish to study in those 6 months AND that I didn't actually get left out because I did poorly in the entrance exams. Out of 70 possible points, 20 are alotted based on previous work experience in the same field as the degree program. Sooooo, if I already had a job in said field, I would've gotten in to study it. Right. Am I the only one that thinks that's just a tiny bit messed up? Yup, it did piss me off that even though I might do well in the exam and the interview, I'm left in a 20 point disadvantage from the start BECAUSE COMPANIES DON'T HIRE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO DEGREES IN THEIR FIELD. I'm assuming this was a totally appropriate division of the points about 25 ears ago when you could still get jobs without actual academic degrees. Not that I'm bitter.

Wait, yes I am.

As a result of this (not of being bitter but the other stuff before that) I have two choices for the next 6 months: 1. I'll take more open uni courses, pay around 500€ for the entrance and the transportation, and maybe possibly thought not very likely, have something to give me extra points on the next round of entrance exams. Also, if I should happen to get in, graduation might not get pushed back a whole 6 months. OR 2. I don't sign up for more courses but instead get a proper lense for my camera and work on the non-academic stuff, so that by Summer next year I might have some extra money and wont have to live off tap water and licking noodle wrappers. Also there's the possible added bonus of maybe getting to do some small amount of traveling. There's also a hidden door number 3. that would allow me to do both option 1. and 2., but that's the stuff of myths and legends and something that you really shouldn't pin your hopes on unles you happen to own a unicorn that poops out golden vegan eggs.

So that's the sucky part. Oh and some airhostesses are on strike but I haven't followed that one at all and then there's some strange religious cult made out of ingeneering students and graduates that apparently makes loads of money for the head of the cult while he pressures wimminz into starving themselves to anorexia, but I haven't much followed that one either. And then some bridges collapsed because of lorries running into them and if you really want to get into World Suck, you should read Guy Delisle's travel comics to put western consumerism in proportion. Yeah, I think that's most of the sucky part. The awesome part was tax returns. And by tax returns I mean being able to get that travel comic of Burma by Guy Delisle and going to Helsinki to enjoy the Christmas lights and finally getting to visit Sis.Deli (a coffee shop of sorts that's based around organic and local food) for that very awesome blueberry frappuccino and cookies served by a very awesome lady and then just sitting at a table with my coffee and cookies, reading a brand spanking new comic book while the snow falls silently outside. It was all very very good. Can you tell I miss Helsinki? Hell, I just miss being part of the human race. A cup of guilt-free coffee and tasty cookies is sometimes all you need to feel warm inside.

Is it narcisistic to be happy about getting a Christmas card from someone with your own design on it?

Social security madness

First off some boring and irritation-fuelled explanation on how social benefits work in Finland: in spirit, much the same way as everywhere else. That is, they're written and monitored in a way that will make you feel like a common criminal applying for them (and only the knowledge that you paid for those benefits from your wages will ever give you strenght enough to do so), that you feel slightly worse when you receive them because of the constant stream of letters reminding you of this or that being something that you should've remembered to notify the officials of (like say, your cat having four legs, which is simply one leg too many and obviously your cat, being one of the people that contributes to your family in a concrete way, is just showing off) and the random dates and locations you need to remember when dealing with your "local" offices. In short, they're made applying for a "benefit" that will enable you to eat and not lose your home so unpleasant to get that you don't really want to. If this is a clever form of psychological warfare or just them  being dicks, I do not know. I do know that it makes people who've fallen on hard times, like a lot of us do at some point in our lives, feel worse about themselves. Which would totally serve a purpose, if it didn't make people suicidal. Which again, can be seen as serving a purpose. Less money spent on social benefits. Result!

Now, I've had to deal with this ridiculous system of dates and Find The Offices and You Are A Very Bad Person letters a few times. I work manual labour. Work is scarse. It's a dying field regardless of what the unions like to think. Those are just facts and I'm not even going to debate them or try to change them. So being unemployed and looking for a job has happened more than once and being on benefits has happened a few times. Both of these things combined were a big enough wake up call to start looking for a way to make a living that required more effort, but hey, I don't consider that a bad thing. You get out what you put in, so high time I put in more. (see the very first post in this blog)
What I do consider a very very bad thing is making people in a bad place feel like they deserve it for not being humble and poor enough. In the history of the world, how often do you get good, permanent results by guilting people? If you answered "around zero" then you'd be right. If you answered "it's the only way to get people to act" then you probably work with the benefits office devicing these letters.
Now the simple fact that you pay taxes on the social security that you recieve is a bit odd. Odd, but not bad. You can say it's income. You get money and it pays the bills; the very definition of income. Only it's not income to the tax officials. Money you make from working is, money you  recieve as benefits is not (this goes back to filling in other paperwork later on and figuring out what sort of income you're enjoying and how much you've paid taxes on it). They just like to tax it. And tax they do. While regularly, you would pay taxes according to how much you earn, when it comes to benefits, you don't. Because its not income. So let's say you worked only part time and had very small income, you'd pay 10% or less in taxes from that. It's a lot from a small sum, but hey, you're paying to uphold the benefits system which is good. You might need it one day. So I definitely don't have an issue with that. When you go on benefits though, you'll pay 20% taxes. From a little over 500€ a month. Now leaving aside the fact that you're paying taxes at all from benefits (couldn't they just pay you less? No? Alrighty then.).. 20%? Really? Because otherwise I'd just use that -50cents on booze and gambling, right?

And that's not even counting in the insanity that is housing benefits. In case someone didn't know, Helsinki is probably one of the most expensive places to rent or to buy property. Why? lord knows. Because we have that fancy church that's shaped like a missile silo? Because we're totez hip and cool and in the heart of Europe with easy access everywhere? No we're not. Because our apartments are so awesome? Well, yes, if you consider things shaped like an L  and bathrooms with sit-in bathtubs and rubber walls awesome, then yes, yes they are. The fact is that buying a single bedroom apartment anywhere around the Helsinki center is going to run you about 150,000 - 180,000 euros. In the center itself, you can ad another ten or twenty thousand. For a single, that would be a lot. But renting is what will make you really poor. Rents are currently running over 600€ for a studio and that's when you happen to get a deal. How does this have anything to do with the benefits? Well, as far as the benefits office goes, you're only allowed to inhabit a certain amount of square meters and pay a certain amount of rent for those and that would be totally reasonable, unles the statistics the benefits are based on weren't from the 1970s. The maximum amount of space a single person is allowed to take up? 37square meters. The maximum amount they're allowed to pay for it? 450€ of which the benefits will graciously cover 330€. So regardless of your current finacial situation, your social situation or your mental situation, you will be getting 330€ to pay your rent, a letter stating that you're paying too much rent (tell me about it!) and a list of state supported companies renting apartments... that currently charge 715€/month for a 31 square meter one bedroom set up. See, they 're being helpfull by suggesting alternatives for you.
Am I grateful for having at least some sort of financial backing from the state? Absolutely. But the madness.. it must stop.

In other news: The time for thermal underwear has come. I don't think I shall mind looking like a ninja for a few months. :D

My life with the no-thrill, raw cult

So it's been a while. A year? Two years? Time goes a bit funny when you don't sleep and then sleep a lot and then upgrade Myspace and then wonder where everyone went.
Did anything interresting happen? Oh, I dunno... my cousins got babies. Loads of them. So I'm now an aunt many times over. Not that I wasn't before what with that one cousin who's been going about the baby-making business with engineered proficiency and having them once every one or two years and they're maybe up to 5 now? But it doesn't really count as they live far away and they were always a bit.. unique. I'm bad at keeping in touch and as we're related, so are they. But hear there are loads of offspring. Now there are bebehs close by too and I happily say that it's weirding me out just a tiny bit. I grew up with these people and we ran around naked in grandma's yard and wondered why they got 6 or 7 folds in their tummy when they sat down and I only got 2 ('tis but stored energy for laters) and now they're.. ah, now we're all in our 30s and they have young ones and it's weird and fascinating and sort of wonderfull and I'm sure everyone will be happy to know that I never once contemplated eating their babies at the baptism ceremony.
I guess there's some truth to family bonds. Makes you not want to eat your family's young.
And for the record, these young ones look just like their parents and seem to act an awful lot like tham and I'm ever so curious to see how they'll turn out in the next 18 years. I'm quite chuffed about being an aunt even though officially I have no responvibility for these kids. But I like the thought of aunt-ism. Maybe I might have something to offer them in the future.

I don't have babies. I didn't get married or engaged or pregnant in the past 2 years. I did change my job a few times until I realised that in order to REALLY change and do things differently I might just have to start doing things differently. And I got poor and I worked overtime to not be so because I don't do poor and in debt well and then I realised I'm doing both ok even if I don't like it (and being either is certainly not a goal). So I don't work over time anymore. Not on things that don't matter. I'm still trying to figure out how to work overtime on things that do. Brain says "Get it done woman!", body says "snoooze. 5 more minutes. OH THERE'S SOMETHING SHINY OVER THERE WE MUST SPEND HOURS OBSESSING OVER IT BECAUSE IT'S SO SHINY AND OHMYGODIWANTSIT!"
Did anything happen at all? Well besides kinda sorta turning *cough*raw vegan*cough* and setting up the shop and trying to work on the sister shop... no, nothing much. Did I change? Hard to tell from this angle. Maybe I finally got it in my ginormous head that people need people and that you're only as alone as you want to be (all together now: D'UH!) but I still don't quite know how to work for my own happiness or how to seperate relaxing with your eyes closed and sleeping.

Please stop hitting your head on the desk.

It's always a work in progress. I think for being as stubborn as I am I'm doing ok. Room for major improvements? Always. There's always things to work towards. For one, it'd be lovely if there was an actual difference between me and that naked hermit living under the bush. Right now there isn't much. He's got a better tan though. It's a free lifestyle, but not quite what I'm aiming for. I'd be more curious about living with actual people for once. And trying out that marriage thing. It might be a hoot. Babies? Eh... maybe I'll adopt that dog first and we'll see if I manage not to lose that one. It's a big apartment, I might forget.
I guess it's true that if you swim in the ocean, it's a long way everywhere. So just keep swimming and you might just get there.